Little Thing 324: Emotions Are Not Flaws

You know, I talk about pain a lot, kan? I'm not shy about being vulnerable because I've learned the importance of naming what I feel. Several years ago, when I wasn’t in the right space and spent more time in denial than awareness, I spiralled into anxiety and depression. It wasn’t sudden, it was a slow collapse from ignoring myself for too long. Over time, through learning about who I am, opening up, patching the holes, and trying to manage things on my own, I reached this point. And I know this for sure now: whenever I lie to myself for too long, I spiral. Whenever I deny what my heart is asking for, I spiral. If I ignore it, the anxiety symptoms come back, the ones I can recognise now, though I didn’t understand them back then.

So I don't lie anymore.

I’m much more open than I used to be. Other than the moments I retreat into my deep well, I’m vocal. It’s either the truth or complete silence. I don’t fabricate. I don’t sugarcoat. I don’t rewrite my own feelings just to keep the peace.

I learned to voice out my emotions in full sentences: “I’m anxious right now, and the reason is…”, “I’m stressed out, and these are the triggers…”, or “I don’t want this / I don’t like this because…”. Maybe it comes with age or experience, or maybe it’s simply because I’ve seen how lying about what I feel leads to more harm. And it’s not just emotional harm. Long-term emotional suppression and chronic stress really do shape the body, they influence the immune system, shift hormones, and make any underlying condition worse. The body absorbs everything we refuse to process.

So if you are not feeling good and you are not sure why. Listen. 

You’ll feel it physically: the withdrawal, the sudden weight changes, the loss of interest, the brain fog, the exhaustion that doesn’t go away, the indigestion, the random rashes, the jitters, the allergies, the anxiety spikes, the gastric episodes, the muscle tension, the vertigo, the headaches; all the small rebellions your body stages when your mind is carrying too much. A lot of these signals begin in the emotional landscape; they’re reminders that everything is connected. The body reflects what the psyche holds.

In the end, we don’t get to choose whether life gives us pain, but we do get to choose whether we meet it honestly. Awareness isn’t about fixing everything; it’s about refusing to negotiate with our own denial. It’s choosing to tell the truth because the body always knew it anyway. Maybe healing begins not with bravery, but with the simple decision not to lie to ourselves anymore. To name what hurts. To stay with the discomfort long enough for it to teach us something. 

And if someone tells you you’re “too emotional,” it’s fine. 

At least you’re not lying to yourself. At least you’re accepting that you’re human, and that feeling is not a flaw.

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Note: It took me 35 years to learn this and I am still managing it. So kids, listen to your emotions and learn how to manage it, don't deny it.  

I can see my siblings struggling in denial lately, and so, I'm just putting this out in the ether.

Little Thing 323: Plans for December

Remember about a month ago when I said my favourite season had arrived? It lasted for a week, then we got three more weeks of heat and now, finally, the rain is back. So, welcome home, my rainy season.

I always forget how everyone tends to fall sick during this time. If you can, avoid crowded places, stay in, enjoy the weather with a good book and something soupy. I’m rewatching Gilmore Girls for the xth time because it’s easy and familiar. I’m tired most days, and whatever mental space I have left is reserved for something soft and undemanding, the kind of thing that doesn’t ask anything of me.

For December, when the whole office scatters to the wind, I’ve decided to plan something that’s:

• enjoyable
• unrelated to work
• not meant to make money
• slow and gentle

Just so I can have a somewhat relaxing month to refresh, recalibrate, and replan.
I decided to not go anywhere (reserving that for next year). 

I’m upping my reading game. I’ve listed and bought a few ebooks I want to sink into. The fun reads. No heavy literature, just modern writing, easy fictions:

• Bury Our Bones in the Midnight Soil by V.E. Schwab
• Martyr! by Kaveh Akbar
• The City and Its Uncertain Walls by Haruki Murakami

I’m thinking of DNF-ing The Idiot by Elif Batuman and Must I Go by Yiyun Li. Both have about 100 pages left, but honestly, nothing happens. Just vibes. And I’m losing patience here. I don’t usually not finish a book; it feels like betrayal. But maybe it’s worse to waste time on reading vibes I don’t even enjoy.

I mentioned Things Become Other Things: A Walking Memoir by Craig Mod, I finished it. I bought the Kindle version for $1.99 after someone DM’d me on Instagram to tell me about the discount. Bought it right away; I knew I wouldn’t be getting the physical copy anytime soon. The random DM was very thoughtful. Love the book.

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I also signed up for one month of unlimited access at a local pottery studio. A community space. I don’t fully know what that means yet, but pottery is one of the things I really wanted to learn along with yoga. So that’s my December plan. I’d love to get a one-month unlimited yoga pass as well, but I haven’t decided on the studio and I’m still figuring out whether my wallet agrees.

That’s December for now; soft plans, rainy days, and a little space to breathe.
I’m still deciding if I should use all my remaining leave, but honestly, the rain might convince me for good.

Little Stories 324: Cursed by My Tonsil

This morning comes in tune with The Adults Are Talking by The Strokes. Please listen to the song while reading this particular post. I wrote this with the song playing on repeat.

I woke up from sleep, feeling pain in my left throat, throbbing in my ears whenever I swallow. I thought it was one of my migraine (yes, sometimes it can be felt in my ear). So, I checked my throat using my phone's spotlight, lighting at the back of my now lopsided swelling throat. What the heck is that? It was huge and really painful to swallow, or talk, apatah lagi makan/minum.

Decided to visit the clinic on a whim after sending Sofi to school. 

Turns out it was a bacterial infection, complete with an abscess. That yellow thing on my left tonsil wasn’t mucus, it was pus. No wonder it hurt like betrayal. So here I am, ending the year with yet another round of antibiotics, right when I’d just started my prebiotic journey for my gut. Great.

I’m annoyed because it’s always something, kan. The doctor asked if I wanted painkillers or an MC, but I said I could manage the pain and I needed to work anyway. I answered like a true Capricorn and even my inner self rolled her eyes. Reality is hard, but I’m harder. Thus the song choice because my personal soundtrack rarely matches what I actually feel. Fake it till neuroplasticity makes it true, right? Dry humor being my coping mechanism. 

Lesson of the week: I'm not going to gaslight Sofi again whenever she tells me "sakit tekak", because if this is how she feels, this is another level of throat pain.

I do dance party whenever I'm too stressed out

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My brother asked why I make the blog non-public. I told him I needed the silence. Whenever I’m overwhelmed, I crawl into my hole and stay there quietly. Energy preservation mode. Then he asked, “Who even reads your blog?” 😑 Him, obviously. I’ve been quiet in the group chat, but he’s been silently stalking my posts. Where’s the silence in that. Ha. 

So because I know he misses my morning posts, I will pretend like this is a newsletter of my little drama for him. And we are mentally preparing for the family-thing, so I need to come out from my hole now, make an effort and be a normal human. 

Hope it is a good Friday for you. 

PS: Tomorrow I want to make pumpkin + cauliflower's soup at ma's and we could do like a nice outdoor breakfast meal for Sunday.

Little Stories 323: The Place We Still Meet.

Dear MC,

It is almost the year-end now, you've been gone for awhile. My office will shut down soon, and everyone’s clearing their leaves except for me. They told me to take a break too, recalibrate, recharge, whatever that means. I’ve been texting random people to see if anyone wants to go somewhere, anywhere. I still have almost a week of leave to use, but I hate the holiday season; Christmas and New Year crowds, everything expensive or closed. I haven’t decided on anything yet. Maybe I should.

This would’ve been the perfect time to plan our book retreat. We should go to Okinawa. It wouldn’t be too cold, and we could read as much as we want. 

Remember that night when I asked where I should go to continue your journey, and you typed, “Go and do your pilgrimage walk in Japan.” I haven’t been able to think about those walks without thinking of you since. The latest book I’m reading is Things Become Other Things by Craig Mod. Huge crush. The walking memoir moved me, it reminded me of the notes I wrote for you. I love it. The perfect combo: walking, writing, photography, and gentle geekiness. He is by far my favorite walker. He is living my absolute dream; quietly, intentionally, beautifully. So I've been living in Craig's shadow instead, following him around during his walks. That's the closest thing I have to the walks. 

Sometimes I wonder what you’re up to, wherever you are. If you still walk. If you still read. If you’ve found a place with endless steps and books that never runs out. Maybe you’ve already finished the pilgrimage and you’re just waiting for me to catch up.

I’ll get there eventually.

Little Thing 322: In Need of a Village

In the past month, Sofi has had scarlet fever, chickenpox, stomach flu, and now the latest another fever (she has a cold too, so maybe it’s related). I’m exhausted. The Christmas holidays are coming soon, and work has been piling up before the blackout season. Working while taking care of a sick Sofi takes its toll: the lack of focus, the dip in creativity and quality in my work. I’ve even had my fair share of 1:1 talks about it. But I couldn’t bring myself to say that managing a sick child while working has affected me tremendously because it would sound like an excuse.

I still want to be in the driver’s seat, to handle everything professionally. But sometimes, I feel like giving up. I can’t control the stress, the acid reflux, the indigestion, or the 2 a.m. wake-ups even after taking my “chill pill.” I fall sick last week (the whole week). My body is screaming in silence. I haven’t even had time to run. At the back of my mind, I’m thinking about all the projects lining up, demanding attention. Even on weekends, they hover. 

And I am angry because I had to think about work while Sofi is sick. I want to be present while making paper gnomes with her or lying down to watch Ponyo when she wants a hug, or paint the next cardboard boxes to keep her occupied, without running back to my screen every 10 minutes. IT IS SO PAINFUL.

But this is the hard season. And hard season comes and go. It makes me resilient, sure, but it also makes me feel like shait. I know I'm fueling on stress hormones and it is not sustainable.

It’s rare for me to ask anything specific from God because I don’t always know what’s best for me. But this one, I know for sure: I need a village. I want a village. A whole village to help me raise my Sofi.

Little Thing 321: In Omnia Paratus

You know there are certain things in life that you need to face because you’re a responsible person. Or maybe you’re just being dragged along by guilt and that constant self-effort to be the bigger person. Either way you show up. You brace yourself.

If given a choice, I wouldn’t want to deal with anything stressful. I just want a boring, undramatic life. But, it’s time.

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What is exposure therapy?

At its core, exposure therapy is all about rewiring the brain’s fear circuit. When you avoid something you fear, your brain gets a little dopamine hit every time you don’t face it. It learns: “Ah, avoidance = safety.” Over time, that fear grows quietly in the dark. So maybe you’re not healed, you’re just being avoidant.

Exposure therapy shines a light on it. You expose yourself to the fear in controlled, gradual doses until your brain realizes that nothing catastrophic happens. That’s called habituation, the nervous system recalibrates, the panic response fades. It is a way for you to learn that you can manage/control your fear of something that traumatize you. You build self-efficacy. The goal isn’t to never feel fear again, it’s to stop being ruled by it. 

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How to. 

• Treat it like emotional resistance training. Reframe it as a session, with a duration. For example: “I will endure anything and everything for this amount of time.” Like a boot camp.
• Detach expectations. Don’t set any. If it goes well, Alhamdulillah, if it doesn’t, okay. And if you don’t do great, recalibrate later.
• Practice micro-boundaries. Find small ways to stay grounded. Take a breather. Pass the baton. Step aside when you need to. Know how you’ll decompress after every exposure.
• Use humor privately. Internal sarcasm can be a psychological shield. You can intellectualize the whole thing if you need to but know that your brain gets triggered by patterns, and rewiring what feels permanent takes time. Humor turns pain into something you own. It’s not avoidance when done with awareness; it’s alchemy. Like I said before, control the narrative. 
• Take a step back and be attentive to yourself. Notice the little signs, manage from spiralling, be gentle and compassionate to yourself. 

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I can read 100 books, I can say that I am healed, kan. But how to know for sure, unless I expose myself to the things that I avoid. So, let's d'oa for the best possible outcomes and may the odds be in my favor.  

In omnia paratus

Little Thing 320: Falling with Purpose

Apparently, my brother has been skipping all my nerdy posts lately because they’re too boring for his standards. And because I no longer want to entertain the art of “what works” by society’s standards or chase engagement, I’ll just keep posting all the nerdy things I’ve been collecting and thinking about all these years; the ones I used to feel too uncool to share. 

I’ll just be myself and be boring; because, let’s be honest, I am as boring as what you see here. But this is now my playground, a place where I can write about whatever topics I want and fully embrace my nerdiness. I’m going to dissect my train of thought.

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Today, I'm going to talk about the Galton board. 

The Galton board is basically a vertical board with rows of pegs. You drop a bunch of tiny balls from the top, they bounce left or right as they hit each peg, and eventually they land in slots at the bottom forming a perfect bell curve; the normal distribution.

Even though every single ball's path is random, the choice is binary: either 0 or 1, left or right. Yet the overall pattern is still predictable each time. It is like a predictable chaos. 

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The metaphor in life:

You’re one of those little balls, bouncing between the pegs of circumstance; by luck, upbringing, choices, people, accidents, heartbreaks, opportunities. Each peg shifts your direction slightly left or right. You can’t control all the pegs, but over time, you still end up forming part of a bigger pattern. Most of the time, you are as normal as everyone else in this world.

BUT, some people end up on the far ends (the outliers), not because they are different or special, but because that’s just how probability works. Usually the super successful people or geniuses or dirty rich people, they are the odd ones in the system. The system itself tends toward balance, and this illusion of randomness produces order.  I say 'illusion' because even though it seems random, there is hidden order behind it, there's mathematical equation to support every result. 

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What I want to say is, I know, life seems so hard. I can see it in the people around me, I can see the struggle, the pain, the confusion, the frustration. The whole ordeal of being alive. I'm not going to say that it is ok, or romanticize the struggle. It's just maybe, it is ok to just let yourself trust the math of life. That even when it feels chaotic, you’re still part of a pattern too large for you to see yet. You’re still falling toward form.

Every time you hit something hard, you’re absorbing a lesson, even if you don’t feel it yet, it is shaping you. And the good thing is, you are not alone, we are balancing the order together. This is not a cue for you to give up, it is a small reminder for you to feel slightly better about your wars. 

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Ok, questions for you (or maybe just ME):

• How can we transform randomness into meaning? - I think by being aware of it, taking note of every instance in your life and learning from it. Being conscious and deliberate can change your views and perception, maybe you can't change your story, but you can change your narrative. At least if you a stuck in a phase, instead of being hopeless and in pain about it, you can be ridiculously at peace, hahah. I don't like the idea of being at peace with everything though, it feels like it takes the human flavour out of it, so play by your own stance lah.
• If our lives follow a pattern like the Galton board, do we really have free will? I think we do, technically, you can still rewrite stories with effort and d'oa kan. Yes, there are certain things that are maktub; the fixed destiny; when and how you die, your jodoh, the major test/blessings that define your life; those are the core and you can't dodge them. But there's also conditional destiny; the part that response to your choices, effort and d'oa. That's the beautiful part about it; it’s both divine orchestration and our participation.
• What would happen if you refused to fall? Is it possible? In physics, refusing to fall means defying gravity, an act that demands immense energy. But for what purpose? Not making any decision is still a decision, no response is also a form of response. It is not freedom, that's stasis, you are stuck, and that is its own kind of suffering, kan. How will you grow? Growth only happens in motion and motion requires falling. 

So, fall with meaning, make your every pain and struggle count. 

That’s the whole point of the ride.

Little Thing 319: The Practice of Play

I’ve been playing Bloons on Arcade. I used to play the old version back in my uni days; finished the whole thing, uninstalled it, and moved on without a second thought. That’s just how I’m wired: once the objective is achieved, the fire burns out. The pursuit is intoxicating, but the finish line dissolves the spell.

This newer Bloons, though, is built differently. Now there are:

• clan scoreboards that rank you and promise the next tier

• weekly battle challenges with timed rewards

• duels against either A.I. or random players

It’s addictive not because the game is "profound", but because it rewards intensity, and intensity is something I’ve always had trouble turning down. Kahkahkah, alasan. 

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Where the frustration begins:

During duels, I want to actually play. I want to think, to plan, to experiment with towers and timing and balance; defense, energy, income. But often, for some opponents, the match ends in fifteen seconds because the opponent rushes an attack immediately. No arc, no progression, no strategy; just a blunt, tactical sprint.

And I’m left there asking myself: What’s the point of a game you don’t actually play? Where’s the joy in a climax that never arrives? Where is the story? What's the fun in only winning in less than 15 seconds? Where is the anticipation? Where is the exploration in trying different strategy, different towers? Kan?

This is the part that has been sitting with me. There are players who only want the win. The game itself is just an instrument, not an experience. Meanwhile, I want immersion, tension, build-up, and story even in something as simple as a tower-defense match :D I’m disturbed not by losing, but by the emptiness of a game rushed to its end. They chase victory; I chase engagement. They want a finish; I want a story. I know it is a good game for me when we both strategized and defended our fields towards the end (sampai my ipad lags sebab heavy sgt). 

Not to say that they are wrong (the ones that prefer the 15 secs win), it is just that I'm turned off by this "duels". 

I will usually wait for the last 10 seconds and let them smirk and enjoy their win. Takpe lah, mesti laki kan, laki je yg esaited sorang2 sebab menang awal. Hahaaaa.

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The more I sit with it, the more I realize that play reveals orientation. Some treat life the way they treat games: as a sequence of goals to be cleared as efficiently as possible. Fast, optimized, ok next. But I don’t want to rush through my hours the way they rush through a match. I want to live inside the experience, where time stretches, curiosity breathes, and something unfolds. Maybe that’s the real lesson here: play is practice for life. And I’d rather live a life that is played deeply, not merely won quickly. I want to play the gameee.

I tried my best not to philosophize this, but I make it a habit of finding reasons why I get triggered by anything in this world and try to understand the pov behind it. And bloons, omygod, is now in my daily schedule and at least please, give me one good game before I continue with work. If I get one good game every morning, I can then smile and think of hundreds other things in my list. 

Tsk tsk. This doesn't sounds right.

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Note: My current fav heroes is Beetienne and Benjamin. The life-maker and the money-maker.  

Little Thing 318: The Algorithm of Your Fear

 

It is my favorite season of the year, the sweater season. 

Sweater washed, hot cocoa restocked, books ready. Let's begin another nerdy talk. 

This morning I finished Gabriel García Márquez’s Of Love and Other Demons. And behind the turbulent love between Delaura and Sierva María (please read the summary if you are curious), I found myself thinking about something else, but still a smaller theme of the story: how quickly people collapse into fear when they meet something unfamiliar. 

This is the scene when Kiki arrives at the new city

We are terrified of what we cannot name, so we start filling the empty space with imagination, with stories, assumptions, and invented meanings. Most of the time we’re not afraid because something is dangerous; we’re afraid because uncertainty exposes how little control we actually have. And control or the illusion of it is a comfort we refuse to surrender.

History repeats this pattern with embarrassing consistency. Pitchforks and fire for women who brewed herbs (we called them witches). Suspicion and violence against Muslims after 9/11 (we were all painted as terrorists). Fear is always quicker to feed than truth.

I even see it in Sofi, in the most innocent way. The first time she had to visit the dentist, honestly, it was dramatic. She’d never been in that chair before, but her imagination built the monster long before she met the room. For a week, I had to mentally prepare her, because what she feared wasn’t the dentist, it was the idea of what could happen. A year later, she walks in without flinching. Same dentist, same chair. The only thing that changed was her knowledge.

The modern version is right in our hands. We don’t burn witches anymore, but we do repost headlines. Algorithms reward outrage, fear, and moral hysteria, not truth. Misinformation travels faster than facts ever will. And now with AI, the internet is a wild field where anyone can plant anything. We are still the same frightened creatures, only with better devices and faster Wi-Fi.

Humans can’t tolerate uncertainty. So we choose imagination over investigation. Instant judgment is easy; curiosity is labour. Saying “I don’t know yet, I need to understand first” is harder than picking a side in five seconds. But that small sentence, that pause, is the difference between fear and clarity. True intelligence shows when you have the ability to update/change your mind. When you admit ‘I was wrong.’ When you replace certainty with curiosity. The opposite isn’t just closed-mindedness, it’s the fear of being wrong, the fear of the unknown. And ironically, that fear is what makes us do the very thing we dread: we assume without knowing. Don't deny it, we all did this.

I see it even at home; our parents, glued to their phones, reposting every frightening headline they see. They think it’s their duty to warn us (whether it is the right news or not is not the issue for them). But a diet of fear is still a diet, and it shapes the mind. I don’t want to live that way. I don’t want Sofi to inherit a world where panic spreads faster than thought (because I can't deny that I am an anxious person, and I know where that comes from). We can choose a different default: pause, verify, think, and stay curious. Fear is much easier, kan. 

So here’s my simple take: pause. Give yourself the chance to learn, explore, research, and ask before deciding. Whether it’s a scandal, an AI scare story, gossip, or forwarded outrage; don’t let your first instinct be the final verdict. Don't bring your torch when you see everyone is holding one. 

Curiosity may not protect us from everything, but at least it protects us from being controlled by fear.

Little Thing 317: The Thread Between Two Particles

Ok.

Today in my nerd section, let’s open a chapter on Quantum Entanglement. I kept a section for it in my commonplace book a few months back, among other rabbit holes and this morning, at an ungodly hour, I stumbled onto a new analogy that got me way too excited (sans caffeine tau, sambil baring half-awake I asked "my friend" to continue its teaching on physics concept).

So come. Let’s cozy up, nerd out, and sip something warm. It’s 6 a.m., still dark, La Niña winds are here, and I just washed my home sweater and robe so I’m cold in my comforter, under-caffeinated, and yearning for intellectual cuddles. I’m only going to touch on quantum entanglement, not quantum mechanics. We’re keeping it simple pagi J'maat.

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The big Q:

Quantum entanglement is when two particles become so deeply connected that they behave like one system, even when separated by distances. Whatever happens to Particle A is instantly reflected in Particle B, across a room, a continent, or a galaxy. Not because they “send messages,” there are no messages to send.

They are not two separate systems.

They are one system in two places. Change one, the other shifts immediately, so, distance becomes irrelevant.

Here's the analogy:

Quantum entanglement is like one story split into two books and placed in different locations. Before anyone opens them, the pages aren’t fully written, just possibilities. But the moment you read a page in Book A, the story becomes real there, and instantly the matching page in Book B becomes real too, perfectly aligned, no matter how far apart they are. They behave like one narrative because, underneath it all, they are one story, not two.

Core idea: Separation in space does not equal separation in state.

We use this phenomenon in cutting-edge tech; quantum computers, ultra-secure encryption, and experimental physics labs. It’s real, measurable, and very much not woo-woo. Go dig your own rabbit hole if you rajin.

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Quantum Entanglement for Writers:

But I’m a romantic kan. I love this concept because I love stories and possibilities. I watch and read so many fictions related to this concept, and I'm just putting a scientific label on it. For fun, because I'm that nerd. 

In life, when two people share a deep bond, they can feel emotionally, psychologically, or energetically entangled, even without being in the same place, timeline, or reality. A bond that exists beyond logic or proximity. Felt in the body. Seen in dreams. Known in the gut. Recognized in repeating patterns, synchronicities, and those eerie instincts we can’t explain. Like a karmic echo or one story split into two bodies.

And that to me is how I can build fiction out of science. Tapi I malas, I suka baca fiction, tak suka tulis fiction. Jap lagi I call daddy Haruki, tapi dia dah byk tulis fictions related to parallel worlds, mirroring lives, split selves, synchronised fates, and invisible bonds across space/time ni kan. Hmm. 

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Questions to explore:

1. Can you entangle more than two particles?
   Yes. There is such a thing as multipartite entanglement, where more than two particles share a single interconnected state. It’s possible, but becomes increasingly difficult to create and control as the number grows. Think of it as the Cloud Atlas edition of entanglement; many threads, one fate. It will be a complex emotional field.
2. If love is an analogy for quantum entanglement, what happens when people fall out of love?
   In physics, entanglement doesn’t simply fade, it must be disentangled or "broken", returning the system to two independent states. So falling out of love isn’t the disappearance of connection; it is the collapse of possibility. And if two people recalibrate, heal, and meet again, they can form a new entanglement but it will never be the original wavelength. It becomes a new system, shaped by its history, memories, and baggage. (Physics doesn’t spare us, ha)
3. If I don’t observe the entanglement, does the bond still exist, or is it only real once I notice it? Yes. In quantum theory, entanglement exists even without observation. Measurement does not create the bond, it only reveals the correlation that was already there. So in the love analogy; some connections are real long before we notice them. Observation doesn’t create the bond, it simply makes it undeniable. You can't unsee it.
4. Is there such thing as free will then?

Back to the “one book split into two” analogy: the story exists as possibilities until you, the observer, open it. The moment you read a page in Book A; make a choice, poke the system, that page “collapses” into reality. Instantly, the matching page in Book B reflects the same outcome. The two separate books are now fully written, yet they tell the same underlying story. Entanglement in action: one system, two places, perfectly correlated, no matter the distance.

Almost good analogy, kan. 

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Anyway, we are deep in Alice's Wonderland now. I have more, tapi it is Friday. 

Happy weekend, and thanks for taking a trip with me.